5 posts tagged “extreme tea”

You may have noticed that the tea posts dried up.  Well, this is the last one.
I reckon the fifteen cups over 15 days was about right, after that I could drink it as happily as normal tea.
However then a strange thing happened.  I started to want a Lapsang Souchong INSTEAD of a PG or even an Earl Grey!  Because the flavour is so strong, nothing else makes a dent.  It goes really well with smoked fish too!
Still not had any coffee since January.

I am about to use the last tea bag in the box of 50 and I'm going to have to buy another one:)
I've done it. I am a Tea Weirdo.
The problem is it smells and upsets people nearby.  Oh well, all experiments have side effects.

Update: My Mom just gave me some Green Tea with Mint and it's ok!  Not cheap though.

Cup 6: Had it with me tea (evening meal for southerners) and didn't really notice it much because I was so busy trying to get pasta in my mouth at the same time as burping the baby.  I may even have downed half of it in one without really noticing.

Cup 7: I'm making it stronger now without being upset.  Definitely was doing the right thing making it weak to start with.  Think this is the strongest one I've had and it took a little bit of effort at first.

Xtreme tea weekly glossary;

Cup 3 (day3): missed day two so had cups 3 and 4 in the same day.  Definitely getting easier.  No sick bucket required on this one.
Cup 4 (day3 - back on track): tried to drink it as a normal one rather than just devoting time to coping.  I'm definitely finding it a two part sensation now, first part is bland teafulness, second part is the kippers. It dawns on me that it's probably not a fishy taste really, it's just that I associate that particular taste with smoked fish when really it's just a wood-smoked taste and perhaps eventually I'll think kippers taste like tea.

Now I have a dilemma.  I'm going to the in-law's for the weekend.  Do I take my strange tea with me and perform the ritual in public or wait until Monday and do 3 in one day.  Not sure it'll make any difference.  Google's rubbish when you're looking for science info and don't know the jargon.

I was filled with trepidation and a slight sense of stupid embarrassment at what I was doing.  The box had literally and metaphorically been pushed out of sight at the back of the cupboard and now I was reaching for it.  Why was I doing this?  Why was I worried?  After all, it's only a cup of tea.  That's what English people do.  But is was tea from hell.  How could I be simultaneously sickened and fascinated.  Is this the same sensation the French had when they started eating frogs and snails?  So many questions.  So much saliva in my mouth and yet I had to do it.  Onwards, men.

Just the mackerel smell from the box repulsed me before I even opened the lid.  Perhaps it was the milk that screwed it up the first time.  Too musty.  I'll just do a weak one with no milk.  One flavour at a time.  Yep.  Definitely the way to go.  Don't try and cover it up.  Just deal with it.

OK, the bag's in the cup.  Now pour the water.  Good.   Nearly to the top.  Just perfect for a nice cuppa.  You don't want a big gap so you've wasted part of the mug but you don't want it too full in case you spill it.
Oh no! what am I doing?  I do want a big gap because then I have less harbour sputum to swallow.  Idiot.
Too late now, just get the bag out quick before it gets too strong.  Oh god, it's a bit black.

Right, pick it up and go and sit by the computer to record the experience in words for the purposes of historical reference.  I'm clearly not concentrating.  I nearly tried to drink some of the stuff as I picked it up like it was a normal PG or Tetley.  Careful.  You could lose a lip that way.  I should have stuck some dangerous substance labels on it as a reminder.  What's the yellow diamond one with the test tube dripping onto something that melts?  Warning, class two flavour hazard! Handle with gloves!  Qualified and authorised personnel only.  If in doubt back away and call the police.

Right, at the desk.  "Tea" is cooling.  How am I doing so far?  Dunno.  All I've done is pour some water on a tea bag.  OK, I'll have a quick sniff.  

Oh, that's not as bad as I remember.  I read that Twinings' Earl Grey contains a tiny amount.  Perhaps I've been getting immunised against it that way and through my nose via the odd whiff from the tea cupboard.  Hmm.  Passive vaccination.
Sniff 2 and it's cooling down.  OK, I can do this.  Prove the theory.  Drink a whole cup 15 days running and then you'll like it.  Then you'll be amongst the cigar smoking, port drinking, hard arsed bastards of Tea Club.  You can do it.  You can do it.  Grasp the mug.  Lift.  And sip...

...Wow!  No retching.  I think I can do this.  It's ok.  I mean it's a struggle but I'm alright. I'm not sure if there was a break in consciousness but the sick bucket is empty.  I can still see so my eyes aren't all squinted up like last time.  My mouth feels a normal width rather than each side of it trying to wrap itself around the back of my neck to get away from the evil chemicals.
Seems more of a tea drink but with a mackerel/pumice after-taste somehow.
Do I like it though? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. That's hyperventilation more than laughing, you understand.

Sip2.  Still ok!

Sip3. Careful now, pretty mackerelly.

An actual mouthful.  Actually I think it might be coal tar soap rather than pumice stone.  You wouldn't stick that in your  mouth either.

...time passes as does tea...

I have done it. I have drunk a whole mug of Lapsang Souchong Tea.  I am a man.  Admittedly I am a man who is simultaneously grimacing and smiling but that's an achievement all the same.
Enjoyment index - the experience - 100% brilliant.  I am truly alive.
The tea - 15%.  Better than I thought it would be.  Game on.  Lets see how the next 14 days go.

What are your favorite weird food combinations?
Submitted by Dulce.

I don't really eat weird food but I do combine foods in ways which some people think are weird, for example, Edam cheese and banana omelette is great but doesn't really work properly with peanut butter - it spoils the delicate balance.

Classic is actual chocolate on toast.  Do the toast and then butter it and chop up a bar of chocolate so it fits properly, then bung it in the microwave so it melts all over.  Smashing.  Much better than chocolate spread.

Battered jam sandwiches are fantastic.  I used to be able to eat four rounds of them plus the sad leftover little runty pancakes but now I could probably only manage two rounds.  Very heavy.

I'm sure John will have something to say about this.

Then again I recently decided I'd try to drink more interesting teas and I'm ok with Earl Grey and Lady Grey and Darjeeling and I can drink fruit teas and even herbal infusions.  What blows me away is Lapsang Suchong.  It really tastes like mackerel on pumis stone.  Mad.  I can't believe they sell it in most shops.  I bought a whole packet and I haven't even managed to drink a whole cup yet.  I had about three mouthfuls of the first one and then I had to chuck it away.  It  makes me feel sick just to open the cupboard.  Even the smell is rank.  Who drinks this stuff? 
There's this theory that tasting anything 15 times is enough for you to get used to it and I think this would be a good candidate for a home experiment but I really don't know if I can be arsed to put myself through all that anguish and suffering.